In the article” Imitation of Film: Here’s Smoking at you, kid” by Nicholas Balakar. There was a nationwide survey published in the November issue of Pediatrics reports on children ages 10 to 14. The reports included information about the influence that R-rated movies has on young children smoking. “R-rated movies contain twice as much smoking as other films, said Dr. James D. Sargent, the lead author on the study and a professor of pediatrics at Dartmouth Medical School".
I agree with Dr. James in this case because in R-rated movies the actors are smoking constantly and they are our children heroes. Although this may be true, parents need to monitor what their children are watching. At the same time children who are in the fourth or fifth grade should know right from wrong, but negativity can be a powerful influence on young adolescents. In any case whether you are a young adolescent or an adult, smoking is extremely dangerous to our bodies. For instance smoking can cause cancer and some cancers are treatable while others can be fatal.
The reason why I agree with Dr. James in this situation is because I have a daughter who is in the fifth grade. I do not allow her to watch R-rated movies because of the smoking and other activities that go on in those movies. In spite of the smoking in R-rated movies there are actors drinking alcohol, using drugs, and sexual scenes in these movies. Nevertheless it makes a parent's job more arduous raising children who have been exposed to R-rated movies because now you have to explain not only why smoking is dangerous, but also the other things they saw as well. In other words there are numerous things as I have noted on alcohol, drugs, and sexual scenes so who really want to explain these topics to a fourth or fifth grader.
Furthermore, my evidence that I can corroborate will include my experience as a young adolescent. When I was in the fourth and fifth grade I was very curious while watching R-rated movies. As an adolescent I was influenced by some actors like Freddy Kruger, Jason and many others. On these films there were other actors who I saw smoking and I felt that it was cool. I started smoking at the age of twelve years old moreover; I thought it made me cool. R-rated movies had a great influence on a lot of things I did growing up. However I would not want my children to follow what I have done as far as smoking at a young age. In fact Dr. James quoted “Our studies show that kids begin to view R- rated movies at about the fourth or fifth grade.”
In conclusion, there were studies done which involved a 6,522 interview with children nationwide about their movies- viewing habits. At the same time a fifty film were randomly chosen from a list of 532 box offices hits from 1998 through 2003. As I have shown in my writing how R-rated movies play a major role in younger children live. Before this is an issue we as parents should work together on and stop our children from watching R-rated movies.
Hello. I am a student in Dr. Smith’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on your revision of the CAT.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t see where your claims was it looked like to much summary from the cat and not enough of your own words in it. Your reason was good I like the way you wrote your point of view as a mother in there. Your evidence was good also very detailed with your life experience. I think you should try to get out of the format that you’re writing your essay and just flow with it.
Hello. I am a student in Dr. J’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on your revision of the CAT. First of all, I cannot tell if you have a claim or thesis. You should write the summary in the first paragraph following by your thesis, instead of writing the summary in the whole essay. You have good reasons but you should not talk about alcohol and others problems R-movies can cause, because the main point is smoking. Also your evidence was very brief! Lastly, I would like you to know that the whole was easy to read. But you should work on your claim so the essay will be better.
ReplyDeleteHello. I am a student in Dr. J’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on your revision of the CAT. First of all, I think your claim is very clear because your argument is supported by many details. Next, your reasons are a copy of the author’s. You need to have your own original reasons. Also, your evidence was solid but general, as for example when you write about fourth to fifth grade and R- rated movies. Lastly, I would like you to know that whole was a great but too much of your life experience.
ReplyDeleteHello I am a student from Dr smith's class and I was asked to give feedback on your revision of the cat. I think your claim is clear and you supporting it with good detail, but you used to many reasons from the passage and less of your own also I think you did to much summary, you can voice your point with less summary and more detail of your own, but overrall you did a good job and i understood you
ReplyDeleteMmmm--I generally think that you claim was clear and that your personal experience matched it well.
ReplyDeleteHowever, your very first line was a fragment: In the article” Imitation of Film: Here’s Smoking at you, kid” by Nicholas Balakar....what? you need to end the sentence. Also, I strongly suggest that you get rid of the "by" in the sentence so that you can follow the author's name with a verb such as "reports," "argues," "explains," etc.